Our thoughts and words matter

You might have heard about the famous poem, attributed to various people, which says:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words;
watch your words, for they become actions;
watch your actions, for they become habits;
watch your habits, for they become your character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Our thoughts play a vital role in how we view and experience life. They can stir our emotions and, as a consequence, our words and actions. While it isn’t possible nor human to feel happy all the time, we can learn (and I am speaking for myself here as well!) to stir our thoughts in a helpful direction. In this article, I would like to share a few of the positive mindset attitudes that I have encountered in different countries and that I found very helpful.

When living in the U.S. and later on when socializing and working with people from the U.S., I was repeatedly impressed by an underlying positive attitude in many of them. What stood out to me was the word choice used when talking about difficult situations or life challenges. For example, people would frequently describe a challenge as an “opportunity for growth” and express criticisms in a kind, constructive way, using phrases like: “There is some room for improvement.”

Viewing situations not as something static and negative that can’t be changed, but rather as something that can always be changed for the better, is a trait that I appreciated in many American people I met. 

Think big and dream big

The U.S. is famous for its rags-to-riches stories, which are based on the underlying belief that anyone can make it to something if they work hard enough and regard the sky as the limit. Of course, in reality, it does not always play out like this, and there are also systemic issues that make life harder for some people than for others. But the idea behind all of this—to have a dream and go for it and give it your all to reach it—is something very inspiring that I have been observing among many of my American colleagues and friends.

Walt Disney used to say: “If you can dream it, you can do it.” I love this quote, and I think there is a lot of truth in it. If we allow ourselves to dream big and visualize how we would like the different areas in our life to be like, we can—and most likely will—find ways to get there. We attract what we focus on, and if we focus on how we would love our life to be, our minds will naturally start to look for ways to get there. And then it is about actually taking small, continuous steps to get where we want to be.

The power of developing a ‘growth mindset’

There is another fascinating research study in terms of mindsets coming from the States. Professor Carol Dweck from Stanford University explains in an inspiring TED Talk called “The Power of Believing that You Can Improve” how important it is to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed one. A fixed mindset implies that you think that your intelligence and your talents are fixed. If you are not good at something, you never will be and should just live with it. A growth mindset holds that intelligence and talents can be developed over time. When faced with a challenge, people with a growth mindset see the challenges as an opportunity to grow. They know that with effort, strategy, focus, and perseverance, they will be able to reach their goals.

Carol Dweck refers to a case in a Chicago high school that became famous for using the concept of “not yet” in its grading system. Instead of telling students that they failed a class and give them an F for a fail, the teacher would grade it as “not yet.” This simple change of wording can have a tremendous impact on the way students perceive themselves and their abilities. “Not yet” implies that it is only a matter of time and effort until you get there. If you invest yourself into your goal, you can reach anything you want. So nowadays, when I start thinking that I am not able to do something, I often pause and then tell myself: “Judith, you aren’t able—yet.” This implies that one day I will be if it is something I want to invest myself in!

Japan and the kaizen principle

While living in Japan, I noticed one personal trait in many people: the willingness to keep learning and improving. One of Japan’s most famous sushi chefs, Jiro Ono, has worked all his life to consistently improve the sushi that he offers in his well-known restaurant. It can be tiny things, like massaging the octopus 45 minutes instead of 30 minutes to make it more tender for the sushi or improve the rice’s consistency each year a bit more. There is a constant strife for perfection. And while at times this might seems a bit extreme, there is a great underlying principle lying below: a humble attitude, a commitment to a task, and the willingness to keep learning.

The Japanese term kaizen, which stands for “change for the better” or a “continuous improvement,” expresses this attitude beautifully. It originated in the business environment in Japan after World War II. It was influenced by American business-advisory teams that had come to Japan to talk about quality management after the war had left many Japanese companies destroyed and people’s morale devastated.

Masaaki Imai, the founder of the Kaizen Institute, who coined the term kaizen, says that the message of kaizen is that no day should go by without some type of improvement. At that time, the principle was mainly directed at company improvements (Toyota is one of the companies that successfully applied the kaizen principle.) Over the years, kaizen has also become well-known in athletic and personal development circles.

Instead of striving for immediate perfection, it promotes the tiny, sometimes almost imperceptible behavioral changes that can lead to significant progress in the long term. Even minimal steps in our habits or routines toward an improvement we seek can be one of the best ways to start to change or to create new habits. For example, suppose you would like to implement a better morning routine. In that case, it could consist of little steps, like laying out the clothes for the next day the night before or getting up ten minutes earlier to have some time to breathe, to do a little mediation, or a gratitude practice. Or to just enjoy a warm shower before the morning hustle sets in. Of course, it is possible to build upon that with time, but the smaller the first step, the easier it will be to change your habits for the better.

And the kaizen concept, encouraging us to become better in different areas in our life not immediately but gradually and consistently with incremental steps, can be a helpful tool on our personal development journeys. 

Our thoughts, our future

“Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.”

—Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Our thoughts and our attitude to life will color the way that we experience life. So, let’s actively work on becoming aware of our thoughts and directing them and our internal dialogue to the positive!